Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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