WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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