I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
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