I think my vagina is haunted
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
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dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize