i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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