seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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