i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize