is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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