why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
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you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
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IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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