I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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