Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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