it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She swung at the pinata with crutches
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I need to calm my uterus...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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