I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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