Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize