Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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