Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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