Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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