Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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