Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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