matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm really into asian looking animals
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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