just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize