you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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