I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize