I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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