Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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