Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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