Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
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If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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