I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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