I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
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bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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