i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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