turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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