Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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