so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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