i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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