small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
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Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
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The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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