so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize