idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize