Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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