I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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