When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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