White coat. Heels.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize