I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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