Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize