it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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