paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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