Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
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I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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