I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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