Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize