it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize