Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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